Nothing Worse Than a Spider in Your Purse!

It has been a while since I’ve posted. I’d like to go ahead and blame the great “snowpocalypse” but to be honest, I was just lazy and nothing all that interesting happened to me. My computer at home is having a problem with its keyboard as well, so to type with it is very frustrating. I avoided blogging for the preservation of my sanity. We’ll go with that.

So here I am, Monday afternoon and what a doozy of a day it’s been! First, I should mention that I fell down 2 stairs and twisted my ankle last week Thursday, so I’m a bit of a hobbler this week. After all of the snow and grossness keeping people indoors all weekend I was almost excited to come to work this morning. Almost. The morning started off on a positive note when I received what is probably the only friendly telemarketer phone call I’ve had. Usually they are very rude and try to con me into giving them the serial number from a fax machine. This isn’t my first rodeo people, I’m wise to your scam! This particular person was inquiring as to who would be in charge of handling any retirement plan we might put in place. He wanted to speak to the owner about the matter and I told him that the owner was out of his office, but would he like to leave a message? (This is already nice of me, because normally I cut them off and don’t give out names or extensions.) He declined the message but asked if perhaps there was someone else who might have the authority to make decisions of that sort. I said no, “he’s the only one” to which he replied, “Oh! Like Tigger!” That made me smile and made my morning. What a quick Disney-approved wit on that one!

All of that goodness from the morning did not translate to the “after-lunch” hour. The hour when something horrible happened that caused me to write this blog and steal something somebody commented on my FB status for the title.

I was about to moisturize my lips with some chapstick that I keep in my purse for just such dry-lip occasions when I saw something move upon reaching into the purse. Wanting to make sure I didn’t drop anything weird in there (you never know) I lifted my wallet to check it out. A fraction of a second later I threw the wallet back down and SWORE I saw a giant hairy spider sitting underneath my checkbook, perched atop a rogue mascara. GROSS! Rather than confirm what I was 60% sure I saw, I did the only logical thing. I panicked, ran out into the loading dock area and enlisted the help of a willing male co-worker. It sounded silly asking him to go through my purse because I may or may not have seen a spider hanging out in there, but he understood and obliged. After he had taken everything out of my purse, a few of the things seemed like plausible spider lookalikes, so I was about to chalk it up to paranoia when he said “Oh, there he is!” I didn’t stick around to welcome the uninvited guest, because after getting one look at the (no joke) biggest spider I had ever seen, I hoofed it out of the office once again! My co-worker trapped and killed that disgusting monster and I thanked him profusely for saving my life. I don’t know why spiders insist on constantly attacking me, but one of these days they will succeed in their diabolical plan and I WILL have a heart attack.

I am terrified to find my keys at the end of the work day. Terrified.

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