Sorry I’ve been gone for so long, everyone. I’ve been busy wallowing in self pity and expecting miracles. You understand.
I had plans to make another pilgrimage to boyband Mecca and join thousands of other Blockheads in Las Vegas next month. New Kids on the Block are planning a 30th anniversary party in Sin City, complete with pool parties, intimate concerts and other manband debauchery that has yet to be described. I was lucky enough to get a 3rd row seat at one of the shows and I was delirious with excitement. All I needed was a flight and I was good to go. I watched flights almost every day for a few months, hoping they would go down. Then they did and I didn’t have any money. As the old proverb goes…
So now I’m stuck. With a car payment, a task to find a new place to live before the end of next month and without a flight to my boyband bliss in the desert. What is a superfan to do?
Word Prostitution. That’s what.
As you may realize by now, I blog what I know. The goal has always been to blog about weird little adventures that I go on, but with no cash flow it’s hard to have adventures. So I took the super-annoying plunge into social media pimping. I started a “GoFundMe” campaign to raise money for blog adventures. Sure, it looks desperate. Because it is. I am. I can’t keep existing as I am or I will have a mental breakdown and it’ll be really tedious to be around. I’m already pretty boring. Can you imagine that with complete social stagnation on top like the wilted and over-dyed stem of a maraschino cherry? It’ll be terrible.
First on my list of adventures is Vegas, of course. The concert ticket I bought is non-exchangeable and non-refundable. So there’s that. And my deep, deep need to see what NKOTB means by “risque”. I have it on good authority that Joe Mac hates wearing clothing and dammit if I won’t be there to witness the fruits of that loom.
So if you have some extra dollars and feel bad for me even just a little bit even though I’m not terminally ill and I have all my limbs and junk…or even if you just enjoy reading my blog and wish I would post more updates, then by all means, click the link and donate. If you don’t have extra dollars but know people who do and who like to laugh at my sarcastic and sometimes awkward ramblings, then share the link. I’ll be loving you forever. And yes, those were New Kids lyrics. Wanna fight?